Parenting Truths

September 28, 2015 , In: Figuring it Out , With: 8 Comments

Parenting Truths |

OK, yes, I was in a bit of a bad mood when I wrote this but it’ll be funny in a few years – right?  These all happened to me…

Your child will always be attracted to: toilet brushes, playing in the toilet water, tipping over the garbage can, remote controls and chewing on shoes.

Just as you fall asleep one of your kids toys will go off and you’ll hear barking or beeping somewhere in the distance.  You think it will go away but it… will… not…

Your kid finally sleeps in on the day you have to get them up early.

Your child finally falls asleep in their car seat on a long journey…. just as you arrive.

Your child will reach out to grab their diaper only when it’s full of poop.

You will go on holiday and either you or your child will get sick.

You will blame everything on teething… from drool to sleepless nights.  Those damn teeth!

If you have multiple kids they will all poop at the same time.  And it will leak.

Your child will only like the toy your other kid is playing with.

The wipes will run out just when you have to change a poo explosion.  You will have the diaper off, wriggling legs in one hand, and the empty box in the other.  Empty box will be thrown on the floor in disgust.

You will finally make a date to leave the house and have some adult time.   Your kid will have a fever/refuse to go to bed/vomit all over your ‘fancy clothes’.

You kid will poop in public the day you decided to chance it and not bring the diaper bag.  There will be a huge line up as you try to pay, your credit card will not work, there will be a bunch of cool people in line behind you and it will be stinking hot.

You will never drink a hot drink or eat warm food for the first six months of your child’s life.

Suddenly day drinking makes much more sense than night drinking when you just want to crawl in bed and wither.

Eating out has been reduced to a main dish only.  And you reserve for 5:00.

Suddenly 7:30 is sleeping in.

Silence with the kids is not a peaceful time but a time to run like hell and see what they are up to.

You will promise yourself you won’t allow your kid to watch too much TV.  Two years later he has his own Netflix profile.

You too?  What did I miss?


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    • Amanda
    • September 30, 2015

    Good list….there definitely needs to be some mention of colds (read runny noses, read SHNOT) and how there is NEVER.ENOUGH.KLEENEX. EVA.

      • Michelle
      • September 30, 2015

      Agreed!!! Argh

    • JoAnn
    • October 1, 2015

    Love reading your blog, it brings back so many memories. I have a favorite truth I would like to share. If there is a chance for your child to say something inappropriate and/or embarrassing they will, and loud enough for everyone to hear. No filters!!!!

      • Michelle
      • October 1, 2015

      Thanks for reading and for the kind words Auntie Jo!!!!

      Not looking forward to the day that happens..!

    • Heather
    • October 2, 2015

    You missed that your toddler will only eat your food from your plate. Even if theirs is exactly the same thing!

      • Michelle
      • October 2, 2015

      Amazing!! Good call!

    • Kate
    • October 3, 2015

    And the one time a profanity escapes your lips, your child not only hears it, but repeats it loudly for all to hear for the next 2 weeks.

      • Michelle
      • October 4, 2015

      Definitely! How is that always so true?!

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Michelle Little

Writer & Photographer

Originally from the prairies and now in Montreal, I love exploring new places, eating great food and modern design. I'm mom of two wild things and paper and cake make me happy. Photographing your cutie family would make me very happy.

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