I have insecurities. Many are mental (is my life going where I want it to?) but many are physical. I think everyone has these. Even people we look up to, or think are just perfect, have these.
But sometimes I feel like everyone else out there has it all going on, and I’m just left behind in my little corner wondering about my little world.
I tend to get on with things 99% of the time, but one major insecurity I’ve always had has been… my sight. Specifically, my glasses.
Friends, there are two reason there is nary a photo of me here, or in existence, of me in my glasses.
1. My vision is so bad that when I wear my glasses in photos, they distort my face. How bad is my vision? -10.5. If you don’t know how bad that is, you’ve probably never met anyone with that poor of a prescription. I think I’ve met one person – my entire life.
2. I am TOTALLY self conscious. I feel like everyone is just staring at how distorted my face looks through my lenses. The sides are not so thick, as I choose thick frames and lenses can be quite compressed these days – thank goodness.
Most of my life, I don’t think people even knew I wore glasses as I started wearing contacts when I was 12. I was a big water skier, and my mom was always scared I was going to hit the dock. ha!
But then… I was diagnosed with an eye condition where during flare times (which occur roughly every other year) I have to put steroid drops in my eyes. This means, no contacts… for months and months. I may feel self conscious about my glasses, but I’d rather keep my eyesight and listen to my opthamologists.
So, I wear my glasses. I always cringe when I see someone I know. I secretly want to shrink in the corner. I want to say – I’m forced to wear these! It’s not my choice! I’m really cooler than these thick lenses! Blame decades of popular culture and the nerd with the thick glasses.
It’s gotten better. I don’t feel SO self conscious but I really really don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I’ll always feel better with contacts. I’ll never feel 100% confident. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Do you have any insecurities you don’t think you’ll ever get over? Or am I alone?! I’d love to hear.